Failure according to Merriam Webster dictionary is the:
omission of occurrence or performance; specifically : a failing to perform a duty or expected action or
a state of inability to perform a normal function or
lack of sucess or falling short
When any of these events occur there is a great deal of emotion that goes with them. Embarrassment, fear, frustration, sadness and of course anger. Anger is often the combination of all the other feelings. These are not fun or happy or basically generally acceptable in today’s society. So what do we do with these feelings?
Well currently, we cover them up, blame them on other people, places, or circumstances etc. The problem with doing that is these emotions will still come to the surface, usually in my experience, at the worst possible time and very often in the worst possible way. Only making things worse!!!
As a side note, when I was young I had 2 issues, a major temper and as my brothers and sisters would be happy to tell you…..I got into trouble….a lot. Which meant I got used to failing and being angry. I learned that I was burning a lot of energy being angry and failing. Which is how I got interested in failure in the first place….but that’s me.
I learned early that life is not fair and not everyone got a ribbon for showing up. I want to thank the many people who taught me that early as much as it hurt then and ask parents and teachers to stop playing that game…..kids figure it out early in life. You are not helping them. There are better ways to teach self esteem. (P.S. The kids are using it to manipulate you.)
So we have a failure and feelings and we need to do something about it, preferable in a positive way. I coined a phrase that works to let other people I know that I am working through some negative feelings. We call it “Having my mad”, because they are our feelings and taking them out on others is not OK. It also is a great statement for getting some time to yourself. Because at my house, that means we need to give the person space to work things out.
So what can we do? Exercise is great, if you hate exercise, try fluffing some pillows hard….if they break all the better because that will make you laugh until you have to clean up the mess but your still using that negative energy up. It is important to get moving and do something positive and creative.
The most important aspect while “having your mad” is to not hurt anyone including yourself. Remember, energy, even negative energy can accomplish a lot of positive things. I’ve washed and waxed cars by hand, built a workbench, cleaned the house, repainted rooms, raked all the leaves in the neighborhood and well I could go on and on …. ok I already said I had a great deal of anger growing up.
At some point you will get tired and those negative emotions will begin to fade and if you have followed this advice, you have something to show for it. But this is only the beginning of failing upward!!!!! Now the best part begins….moving up!